The "8 Step Prep" for First Dates

Keen Category: Love Advice

Checklist for First Date with Couple

He asked you out and now the first date is about to happen. You two have scheduled it and now the moment is near. There are a few things you can do in the days and hours leading up to a first date that can increase the chances that it will be a success. Here is the "8 Step Prep" for the first date:

Step 1: Define Success

Defining success for a first date is important. He will likely not propose marriage to you half way through dinner, so it is important to know what is likely and what is not likely. In analyzing what the best-case scenario is, you can then divide up this scene into small victories and accomplishments, so that if everything you want to happen doesn't happen, you will still have some positives to take from the date. A checklist of things can include "Does he open the door for me?" and "Did he suggest an appetizer for us and did this make me feel he is not a cheapskate but likes to share?" If you have a list of fifteen or twenty little victories, don't be surprised if he happens to add a few more pleasant little niceties to your success list before the night is through.

Step 2: Know Your Look

Every woman establishes a look and sticks to it. Day in and day out, you don't think about it beyond an occasional augmentation – therefore you shouldn't for your date. So many women stress and try out a new look, overdo it with makeup or go au natural for the first time in years. This just leads to more stress and nervousness. Looking your best is often looking as close to normal as possible. The best-case scenario of a date is that there will be enough chemistry between you two that a relationship will form – so on your first date, you should look like you will look all the time.

Step 3: Relax

The tension before a first date is an attack of the "what-ifs" and other unnecessary worrying. If you are getting nervous about the date, sit on your bed with the lights low and breathe deeply. A couple of simple relaxation techniques such as this will cut through the tension. Be sure not to do your relaxing too close to date time as the last thing that you want to do is fall asleep and miss your date!

Step 4: Talk to a Psychic

You have a lot of rehearsal to go over and talking to a psychic can often prepare you for just who you will be dating. A psychic can visualize what he will be like on the date and what to prepare for. Was that picture on the internet ten years old? Is he five foot ten inches tall when standing on his tip toes? A psychic can reassure you with visions of those things that are out of your control. Knowing what is to come can fill the void of worrying and wondering. You can't be considered well-prepared for the first date if you haven't talked to someone and most girlfriends are just too jaded or too jealous to truly help you think-out the first date. The clarity of friendly psychic can put you right at ease at a time when you most need it.

Step 5: Forget About It

Go to a movie. Treat yourself to a day at the spa. Go out for an intense running session or schedule a double session with your personal trainer. Oh the day went by so fast and now it is almost time for, what was it again you were doing tonight? Oh yeah, that first date, oh no problem, what a lucky guy he is for you to be able to fit him into the busy schedule of your awesome life.

Step 6: Topics of Conversation

You are going to want to focus on a few things about him to see if dating much further is feasible. The three big topics are:

  1. To ascertain his relationship with his family (and if it works with how you envision your future)
  2. To study if he listens to you and understands you as an individual
  3. To see how he reacts to your lifestyle (if you are into political activism and he is into monster truck rallies, look for a third area of common ground you two could conceivably share)

Rehearse a few questions that attempt to get at his beliefs and values without seeming confrontational. It is critical that your date be an organic, evolving event and that you not make it appear to him that it is a job interview or more of a game show challenge than a night out between two adults looking for love. But while you're at it, find out if he is looking for love.

Step 7: Topography

You should have a clear idea of where you two are going, but ask yourself, what if the date goes great … what else is there to do nearby? If you two are going to a nice restaurant, stop by a few nights before and see what else there is to do within walking distance. Perhaps something irresistibly fun is happening down the street on the same night as your date. It can all look to him like it was meant to happen.

Step 8: Mirror Mantra

Using your compact mirror, or during a quick trip to the ladies room before he arrives, look directly at yourself and repeat these lines: "I deserve a good man and a good man deserves me. Together we can be a great couple and have good times." Stare at yourself and repeat this. Repeat it many times without looking away from your own reflection. Repeat it until you believe it and when you believe it, you will begin living it – perhaps starting on tonight's date!

Related Articles