Keen Category: Love Advice
Life is full of lessons. We think school stops when we graduate, but in truth, our life lessons never end. It is always important to listen to the lessons we are taught. If we choose to ignore them, just like we may have done back in school, we will repeat the lesson until we get it right!
When we think of life lessons, we often expect it to be clearly shown to us and easy to understand; but, that is usually rare. More times than not, the lesson comes when we are very emotional and overwhelmed. Remember, don’t make rash choices when you are in this state. Always take a step back and think before you act.
If you are continually unhappy, ask yourself, “What is missing?” and, “Is it me or them?” More often than not, we seek the easy path because we are familiar with it; but in truth, it may not be the easiest path, it is just what we find normal and are the most comfortable with. How often do we reach out to our ex and want to reconnect BUT have made no other changes in our lives or in theirs? The answer is, way too often. When we fear the unknown, we reach for the known.
People do change. Life influences us daily, and we are not the same person that we were yesterday. Without the right changes, in our actions, we just keep hitting a wall and hurting ourselves more and more. We need to recognize this pattern and learn from it.
Now, what lessons do we miss the most of? Well, it’s romance. Romance is the hardest area to learn from because often, our hearts don’t listen to our heads. As you sit and cry over the same laments of how could he/she treat you like this, ask yourself, “Why you are allowing it?” The lessons we need to learn is that our ex needs to make a change by themselves, or else it won’t work with them. A week of change is not convincing enough, so tread carefully. A year or more of change shows that they are sincere and making a difference in their lives.
Ever wonder why your ex is now in this great new relationship and happy with their new partner? The new partner has probably learned their lesson and is not allowing themselves to be treated poorly. They conversed and set limits as to what is expected in the relationship and what will not fly. With this new foundation, they can make it work as one knows the right direction and teaches it to the other.
A boyfriend becomes an ex often because they were never meant to be in your life long-term. Instead, they teach you a lesson that you needed to learn to pave the way for a future happy relationship. Ex’s often show us what we do not want in our lives. Instead of us holding on to a person, we need to hold onto the lesson that they gave us.
Standing up for what you want does not need to be a battle, but listening to life lessons is often a big hurdle because our ego gets in the way. Ego often controls our choices because we want to be better than others. When we step back and see that they were not in our life long-term, then we can allow ourselves to learn the lesson and move forward.
Think back to being a kid; we would tease the people we liked instead of being nice because of our fear of rejection. But at that age, we did not really understand why we acted that way. As we grew, we understood our actions and learned from them. We need to remember that we always need to keep learning!
Do not hold onto people who are toxic to your future. Instead, see what it is within them that drew you to them in the first place, and look at what turned you off from them. Then, learn and grow. Move forward by taking the lesson with you and recognize what you seek from yourself and a partner. Often, we get set on a romantic vision of our partner, but we end up hurt and broken from repeating the same mistakes of our past. In truth, we can grow and become stronger; but more importantly, you will become happier when you let go of what hurt you in the past.
Miscommunications are one of the leading reasons for a failed relationship. We tend to not speak from the heart; but once we learn how to, we will thrive by reaching for that person who fits all of our needs, and vice versa. Rushing through love can lead to settlement, and that brings regrets. So, learn and grow from the lessons that life teaches us!
About the Author:
Arriana has been a dedicated Keen reader since 2001. Tarot is her speciality as well as pendulum and dream exploration, married with 3 standard poodles. I have many adventures in Canada and the US and am blessed to be able to be apart of the Keen family.