On Saturday, December 22nd, 2018, we will be having the final Full Moon of the year, in the sign of Cancer at 0 degrees. This is interesting, as we started 2018 off with a Full Moon in the same zodiac sign on New Year’s Day, 2018.
The Full Moon, stationed at a critical Lunar Mansion degree in its dominion sign, brings forward themes that very commonly come up this time of year, with holiday family gatherings. The transiting North Node of the Moon (also known as the “Node of Destiny”) is also presently in the sign of Cancer.
We are all called to examine our family relationships at this time. The transiting North Node and Moon in Cancer bring to light family, origins, and traditions passed down through the generations. What better time than the holiday season!
In examining family relationships, as well as all human relationships, one asks the question: Who serves us well, and who should we let go of?
Some reading this may even be estranged from part or all of one’s family of origin. Holidays are especially prone to loneliness if one does not feel a sense of belonging and/or community. For those going through family estrangements, it is helpful to realize dysfunctional relationship patterns that contributed to the walls that exist.
The book Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward, PhD, is an excellent book specifically designed for those going through parental estrangements. Combining the advice from this book combined with personal estrangement and reunion experiences, I make the following recommendations when deciding to make the difficult decision to reconcile an estranged family relationship:
1. Heal Yourself First
I cannot emphasize this one enough. Some may require months, others years or decades of healing in body, mind and soul, before attempting a successful reconciliation attempt.
2. Don’t Force It
Do not force a reconciliation before ready. In many cases, choosing not to reconcile may be best. Many well-meaning children, especially those who are more compassionate by nature, may wear “rose colored glasses” with regards to reconciling with their parents. They may see things as they would idealize them to be, rather than considering the grim realities that are more compatible with the situation as it really is.
Still others may ultimately decide that although they have forgiven their estranged family, it may ultimately be best not to cross the divide. Once forgiveness and healing has been established, it is possible to let go of any anger or resentments towards the estranged party. This frees the forgiver to create new happiness in his or her own life.
3. Let the Magic Happen in the Moment
When the moment is right, great and inspiring things that can come out of reconciling.
Sharing a personal example, I recently made the decision to reconcile with my father. It was a bit unexpected, but once we broke the ice, it was truly amazing to experience. We went out to breakfast the day after he came into town, and heard a sentimentally appropriate song while conversing in the restaurant. It was indeed very emotional, almost like a Divine Hand was sculpting the moments.
4. Get Help From “Buffer People”
Buffer people are individuals who may function as a holding zone or mediator between you and the estranged party. They may or may not be personal allies or friends of yours, while others may not be known to you until more is revealed later on.
In my own case, one example of a buffer incident involved a “Divine Dyslexia” that my dad experienced when trying to find my condominium home in 2016. He went to a property with the same three digits as my house number, only in different order. This incident happened a full two years prior to the time I was ready to reconcile. I am grateful the Universe steered him in a different direction as I was recovering from a severe illness at that time, and would not have been ready to face him yet.
5. Set Your Boundaries
Establish flexible boundaries on social media and other contact channels. For many people, even if they choose to reconcile with estranged family, boundaries on social media may still be necessary to some extent. The formerly estranged may need to have separate chambers for expressing difficult emotions when s/he needs support.
Using a Restrict function for family that you’ve reconciled with, so that s/he can only see your public posts for example, may be a wise middle ground to consider.
6. Continue with Spiritual Guidance
This is so important, because we are all human. Keep on doing a regular inventory of the status of your reconciled relationship. Continue to ask for spiritual insight on how to catch any old patterns that caused the estrangement. By being proactive, one can be vigilant about one’s own spiritual health, even though s/he may not be able to influence whether the formerly estranged stays on path.
Whether or not you’re celebrating with family this season, take time to reflect on your relationships with others, and identify the connections and community you have built for yourself. With love and joy, wishing you Happy Holidays!
About the Author:
Esther has been a professional psychic reader for five years. She met her mentor in 2013, who took her existing astrology knowledge, along with teaching her the Tarot, and transformed her into the psychic she is today! Esther has over a twenty-year background in healthcare prior to her psychic career, with over half of that experience devoted to mental health and psychiatry. Her combined experiences of psychic readings and psychiatry make her the perfect advisor to guide you with her intuition.