Keen Category: Love Advice
There are lots of ways to meet a man: work, dating websites, speed dating, friends of friends, blind dates set up by family members and on and on. As you trudge through the rituals, hoping that magic strikes and chemistry occurs, it comes time to take a break. And so you take a vacation. Without the tension of life's constant struggles, you relax and really become yourself, moving through paradise with no cares, living in the moment and enjoying a deserved freedom.
There is intense, strong energy that this positive state creates. It attracts the universe's ability to make your dreams come true. If your workweek is consumed with wondering if you will ever meet a soulmate, your relaxed state on vacation is quite likely to attract one.
The magic that a new lover makes with you is made all the more awesome by the fact that you are in a suspended state in a magical place you chose to visit. But just because all vacations have to come to an end does not mean that all good things must be done with as well.
If your chance encounter with a close to perfect match made you think that you had found a possible soulmate, why should you let some trivial matters like thousands of miles between you two get in the way? Can your vacation romance last?
Here is a progressive checklist to go through as you explore whether fate brought you together for a short period of time in order to prepare you to be together forever.
In years passed, a vacation lothario could convince his summer squeeze that there was nobody else but her. Today, the Internet is your friend. You can search for info about him just about any time, perhaps while he is making the moves on you during your hotel getaway. Get away from him if a simple search reveals a wife or prominent girlfriend. Plenty of men get good at being single during business trips.
If you look him up after a vacation fling has ended, don't just stop with a casual search engine perusal. Isn't it time to add him to your social networking profile? Does he add you back? Not adding you to his social networking profile is a big indicator that he doesn't even want you on the periphery of his social circle. Now, this is fair. Imagine if you returned home and fell in love two weeks later with an awesome new boyfriend. Would you want some guy who you had fun with last summer pestering you to friend him on the Internet? Some people do not want to look in the rear view mirror and that is okay. You had fun, move on.
If he adds you to his profile, this is your chance to examine him as he wants the world to see him. Is he the same guy online that you met out of town? Do you even recognize him? Would you like to continue seeing where it could all go? If so, you better then check who else might be in line for his attention. Are there public pictures of him with a specific girl, over and over again? Are they recent pictures? Was she there on vacation with him? Did she host a welcome home party for him?
If he appears to be single and is someone you want to get to know better after having made such a connection with him, make regular contact and see if he reciprocates. If he begins initiating contact, that is the best sign yet that there may be more for you than just a pleasant memory.
The things in life that he most values should be at least somewhat compatible with your outlook. If one of you is politically active and the other has no interest in reading the daily news, it may not be a great long-term match. If both of you love politics but do not agree on anything, perhaps even being polar opposites, the fact that you value looking at the world as a series of problems to be solved with ideology and action is more important than the specific courses of action either of you favor. If you two are artists, it is less important that you are both working in the same field as much as it matters that you understand and respect those fields.
Your mutual values are a measure of your inherent compatibility as a couple – beyond looks, physical attraction and a good time on vacation. A guy you meet on vacation can be charming and engaging, handsome and great when it comes to an initial physical match-up. But spending extended amounts of time with someone can reveal how closely aligned your outlook on life really is.
You may have had a good time with him, but if he values a wild nightlife and you are looking forward to starting a family, chances are you will not get along as life partners for an extended period of time. A brilliant spark of electric attraction is not a guarantee of soulmate status.
You two can find ways to keep in touch over the Internet and the telephone, but keeping in touch works best when you two are actually touching. Don't make plans to quit your job and get together with him just yet, though. The speed at which you two came together when you met out of town does not mean this relationship can ignore the ordinary pace of a budding relationship.
Plan a short weekend reunion where you can see if the spark is still there in person. Pick a neutral spot. Do you two share mutual interests? Fun in the sun? Museums and the theater? Hiking and exploring nature? A short vacation got you two together, another one can seal your compatibility.
If you can successfully navigate these first three steps, it is time to discuss establishing an official relationship and begin treating it like one of the hundreds of thousands of long-distance relationships all over the world.
Alternate visits to your place with visits to his part of the world. Introduce him to your life first, then to your friends, then to your extended social network and finally to your family. Follow the same pattern with his world for best results. Enjoy your time together and make use of your time apart to understand what it was about the magic encounter you had on vacation that changed two lives forever.