Every relationship is often filled with issues at one point or another. This can range from an argument to a difference in personal beliefs and opinions; however, sometimes those issues boil over again and again, and a person may not realize they are actually in a toxic relationship. While we all want to find our own special someone, we need to take a step back and look at your relationship in reality. There are some very particular signs you should look out for and be aware of to make sure you are not letting yourself be taken advantage of emotionally.
The easiest sign of the relationship being toxic is that almost all issues or problems seem to be your fault. Your partner is unwilling to claim responsibility or accept that any issues that arise might have been caused by them. This kind of mindset strengthens the idea that they are in control and they know what’s best for you. If you know that something was absolutely their fault, you should express yourself in a healthy and comfortable way by confronting them and explaining how they need to address the issues they are causing.
Another unfortunate symptom of a toxic relationship is isolation. Your partner will insist that you only spend time with them or people that they “approve of.” You might find yourself becoming distance from your friends and family because your “significant other” is trying to make you the center of their life. Again, this expresses a controlling dynamic where you become more and more reliant on them.
By far, the largest issue though is what is known as Historical Revisionism or “Gaslighting.” A person does this in a relationship to make it seem as though you are crazy and your entire perception of what is happening is wrong. Those messages you saw weren’t what they meant. Those photos you found were just those people “joking around.” Or perhaps, they claim they never sent either of those things to other individuals. They will claim you are paranoid worrying about where they are or why they close internet tabs or hang up the phone when you come into the room. What you see, hear, and feel is more valid than anything else someone can tell you.
There are, of course, many other signs out there, but these are a few of the very important ones. They are also not just for your consumption, but look at relationships that your friends and relatives are in. If someone has become more closed off and is canceling plans or not going anywhere without their partner and seems distant or a bit despondent, please check in with them. Sometimes they do not realize how bad things have gotten. You must first take care of yourself above all else, then you will be able to flourish in a relationship. And remember, your Mr. RightNow may not be your Mr. Right.
About the Author:
Rev. Mallazyr is a Spiritual Advisor who focuses on love and relationships. Specifically, the methods used are more geared towards self-empowerment, providing a layout to your issues, and have solutions to continue on towards a path leading you to a satisfying end result. A session should not end when you stop talking, but instead, act as a constant reminder and give you hope when dealing with your situation.