No matter the circumstances, coping with a separation or divorce can be difficult. It can change everything and make even daily tasks challenging.
Whether you are breaking up a marriage or home, or ending a short relationship, you’re leaving one life behind to start a new one. While this is never easy, there are tips that can help. If you’re asking how to get over a divorce, hopefully you’ll have a few more tools by the end of this article.
How Long Does it Take to Get Over a Divorce?
This will vary from person-to-person and depend on your circumstances, but therapists say that it takes on average one year for every five to seven years you were married to fully get over a divorce.
Coping with Divorce
The transition from divorce to singledom will inevitably stir up emotions as well as major lifestyle changes. Having some coping techniques to get you through this difficult transition can ease the weight of this period.
Take Care of Yourself Emotionally and Physically
Be patient with yourself. It’s okay to not be okay and not be operating as your best self. Observe the things that are triggering you and try to minimize or remove them. That could involve taking a break from social media or storing away personal items that remind you of the relationship.
Be sure to establish a healthy new routine. Cook your own healthy meals, go to a yoga class or the gym, or take a relaxing bath regularly. When we go through emotional upsets, it’s easy for us to become physically unwell so take extra care of yourself during this phase of your journey.
Speak to Someone
Find a therapist you can trust who you can confide in about the things that are bothering you. They will be able to help you process any anger and grief as well as gain some clarity on the relationship. Together, your therapist and you can come up with some ways to help you with cope with changes. They may discuss some healthy conflict resolution techniques for dealing with your spouse or former spouse.
Begin a New Activity
Join a club, start a new hobby, and learn a new skill. This is a great way to relieve some stress and it can serve as a healthy outlet for your emotions. Consider an art class or language class with a regular schedule to get you on a new routine and give you something to look forward to. You may even want to consider volunteering somewhere.
Plan a Trip
If time, money, and other responsibilities permit, treat yourself to a vacation or trip away. This can help clear your head, recenter yourself, and inject some excitement back into your life. A break from your daily routine to travel to somewhere new, whether it is an adventure or more of a relaxing break, can greatly improve your mental health. You may want to consider a yoga or wellness retreat to help you get your mind off things.
While your divorce can seem like the end of the world, it is also the beginning of a new chapter in your life. Perhaps the relationship taught you a valuable lesson and is helping you to refine what it is you want in a partner along with you stepping into the best version of yourself. Try to stay positive and develop a plan moving forward.
Coping with Divorce and Kids
If you have kids, divorce adds a whole new layer of stress. Here’s a short list of things to consider if you are coping with a divorce and you have kids.
Listen to Them
Listen to their needs. Make sure they feel seen and heard to open up to you about how they are feeling. Be a supportive and reassuring presence without blaming your spouse or speaking negatively about them.
Maintain Stability and Routines
While there will inevitably be changes to their routine, try to keep things “normal” as much as possible.
Be Consistent in Your Discipline
Make sure you and your partner are on the same page about special privileges, curfews, and rules. This includes following the same punishment protocols.
Navigating the divorce process can be overwhelming. At the end of the day, be kind to yourself. Have patience when you are feeling frustrated or upset. It’s normal to struggle while you are adjusting.