There isn’t any way around it. Getting through a breakup is a difficult and emotional experience that can take a long time to get over. But knowing that you can and will get over it is the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, that’s easier said than done, so whether you’re getting through a divorce, a long-term relationship, or a fast and furious romance, here are a few effective and healthy ways to heal so you can move forward.
12 Steps To Help You Move On
As the saying goes, “time heals all wounds,” but that doesn’t mean you have to wait for months – or years – to feel like your old self again.
1. Acknowledge that letting go is healthy
Come to terms with your loss and remind yourself daily that letting go is the healthiest approach. Note that this takes time, patience, and effort.
2. Write down your feelings – even the small ones
The good, the bad, and the ugly – let it all out. Recognize the relationship for what it really was. When practised regularly, journaling is a cathartic exercise that will help you gain closure.
3. Take responsibility
The other person isn’t always to blame for a breakup. Own up to your mistakes, take responsibility for your actions and apologize to the person you hurt. It’s a difficult and sobering exercise, but a necessary one if you want to move forward with a clear conscious.
4. Confide in someone
Don’t bury your feelings and pain. Share them with a neutral sounding board, whether that means a friend, family member, therapist, religious leader, or love psychic.
5. Stop being a victim
Get over yourself. The world at large doesn’t care about your issues and victims never more forward, they just continue to hurt themselves and others. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and channel all of that negative energy into positive energy that will help you move forward in a more expedited (and healthy) manner.
6. Focus on the future
Let go of the past. When you live in the past, you’re destined to repeat it. Generate a list of at least ten reasons why you should let go of the past – be as specific as possible. Repeat this process with a list of positive goals for the present and future. Focus on a realistic action plan for these goals so that you’re being proactive.
7. Find forgiveness
First forgive the other person (if the breakup was their fault), but also forgive yourself. You can’t change the past, so holding on to anger, guilt, and resentment is completely counterproductive. Once you learn the power of forgiveness, you’ll feel as though a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
8. Be patient
No matter how busy you are keeping yourself, you’ll undoubtedly have good days and bad. This is completely normal as you’re only human. It’s impossible to turn off your emotions – especially when you’re sad and overly sensitized. There’s no set timetable for getting over a breakup, so take as much time as you need to grieve without hindering your ability to move forward.
9. Make your own rules
There’s no one-size-fits-all remedy for getting over a breakup, so set your own pace. If friends are trying to get you out of a funk by asking you to go out, don’t feel forced to socialize. Sometimes alone time is more productive than putting on a good face. Don’t let others deter you from your healing process.
10. Remember that breakups are natural
There’s a reason why there are so many songs and movies that are devoted to breakups – they are completely natural and happen all of the time. Studies show the average woman will interact with 15 men and have at least several long term relationships before “settling down,” for the long term. It is these relationships that help us realize what we really want in life so that we can have a long-lasting, committed relationship.
11. Be Open To Meeting Someone New
While it’s not always a good idea to get involved with a rebound relationship, don’t, it’s important that you’re open to meeting someone new! The best way to attract a new lover is by being true to your nature and honest about who you really are and what you want to be and do in life. In short, be yourself and you’ll attract the right person for you.
12. Book A Reading With A Psychic Advisor
Whether you want to know how to get back with your ex, or whether your current SO is cheating on you, it can be helpful to book a session with a psychic love reader so that you don’t make the same mistakes twice. Manifesting true love can be easier when you have unbiased guidance and insight.