At some time in life, everyone’s heart breaks. It could be over the death of a loved one, or over the loss of a major relationship, or even the loss of a job. No matter what the cause, the road back from a heartbreak is a long and often painful one, but astrology has some useful insights to share about this process.
The Astrological Stages of Grief
Although we commonly use the word grief following a death, there is also a grief process to go through after any heartbreak, including relationship loss or self esteem loss.
The first stage of grief is usually shock, or denial. There are few times in life when we expect to be heartbroken – most incidents of this kind come to us out of the blue, often accompanied by strong Uranus transits; Uranus is the planet of shock and upheaval. Even if we were expecting the problem, perhaps when a loved one finally passes after a long illness, the actual moment of heartbreak still comes as something of a shock.
The second stage of grief is anger, and during this period, the planet Mars takes center stage. Mars transits to your natal chart will find you reacting with fury at time, blaming your ex-lover or your deceased loved one for inflicting this pain on you. Mars will encourage you to take out your pain on your friends and family, and will make you difficult to live with on some days; at other times, however, Mars can be your salvation, enabling you to pour your emotions into physical activity, or into a new, all-consuming project of some kind.
Next in the grief cycle comes bargaining. This is where we attempt to rationalize what has happened, and Mercury rules this part of the process. By making the best use of Mercury’s transits to your natal chart, you can start to put your grief into words. You weren’t to blame for what happened, but it’s part of the healing process for you to question whether you were. This is the time to get all of the “if only” thoughts out into the open air. In the case of a relationship breakup, Mercury helps us to learn valuable lessons at this time, as we figure out that perhaps we weren’t entirely blameless in the breakup after all.
The most common next stage of grief is depression. For some, Neptune rules this process, as we escape into a fantasy world, or overindulge in drink and other negative escapism options. For others, it’s the baby-out-with-the-bath-water aspects of Pluto which dominate this phase; for still others it’s the painful, lonely, isolating depression of negative Saturn aspects.
Having processed all of these stages, we finally arrive at acceptance of the heartbreak. The Sun is the most important planet in this stage, helping us to find peace again, and to focus on fresh starts. It can, of course, take years to travel this path following a significant death; alternatively, it can take only a few short weeks for some people to overcome a less permanent heartbreak.
If you’re struggling with grief for whatever reason, astrological or psychic counseling can help. A good astrologer or psychic will be able to show you what stage in the process you have reached, and how the daily movements of the planets are showing the way ahead.
Your astrologer will also understand, from your natal chart, how your personality affects your grieving process. For instance, earth and fixed signs tend to struggle the most with the changes heartbreak brings. Water signs are the most sensitive, able to freely express emotions, but lacking the strength to come through the other side. Air signs on the face of it cope best with grief, but typically this is because their emotions are bottled up – only to come tumbling out years later in dramatic fashion.
Whatever the case, a good astrologer or psychic can be your ally during a heartbreak. Whatever the cause, and however long your own personal journey of recovery will take, the planets offer guidance and pathways to follow, if only we look up and take notice.