Keen Category: Love Advice
A love relationship is like the sea. Sometimes the sailing is smooth and other times it's rough and stormy. An experienced mermaid can look at a beautiful day, feel a particular dullness in her scaly tail and sense that a storm is coming. A typhoon builds slowly and steadily, providing some advanced notice to batten down your hatches. A chubasco offers no warning before unleashing sudden rain, thunder and howling wind that appear out of nowhere. Like the mermaid, how can you sense that a storm is brewing in your relationship? How can you stop a fight before it starts?
Your mate may know every detail and statistic about his favorite ball player and have no clue what you are feeling. Conversely, do you always understand precisely what is nagging at him? An entirely beautiful day can be tormented by the smallest and most inconsequential remark by a rude waitress or a lousy boss. It doesn't take much to get hurt, frustrated or angry, especially in these times when we are pulled in so many directions.
Following, are four ways to right your ship and set your love boat back on course.
All human beings are fragile and tender creatures. We rarely know what we are honestly feeling at any given time. We are conditioned to bear the pain and keep marching. The slightest comment or perceived disrespect can easily cause us great pain, which naturally decays into ugly resentment. Touchy, we may attack when provoked.
In our fast paced lives, there is little time for meditation or to be present to the present moment and what we are feeling in that moment. Rather than jump into the fray, aspire to quiet meditation and aim for tranquility and quiet. Do your best to listen to yourself and your mate. Identify the feelings, allow them to exist and seek out their source.
Create a scale. This can help you find a very clear and objective view to your situation. Zero is love and eternal happiness. Ten is divorce. Where does your current dilemma fall? Are you overreacting? Put things in perspective. More often than not, problems seem overblown at first.
A hurt animal needs time to lick its wounds. There are many times when your mate needs to be left alone. Give him time to sort it out and ponder. Hopefully he will do the same for you. It is a gesture of courtesy.
If an issue needs to be discussed, bring it up when you are both calm and can listen to each other without blaming or criticizing.
If you can remain objective, without reacting, you can be your own best mediator. It isn't easy, but it's possible. Put your own frustrations aside briefly to understand your mate's perspective. Listen closely.
Relationships are tricky business. Like managing a business, the job should not be taken lightly. Approach a problem, large or small, with great seriousness. It takes both of you to cross these worthwhile seas.