In order to grow and develop, we have to be willing to let go. That also includes letting go of relationships that are not in your best interest, whether it’s with friends, a partner or family members.
Family can be particularly hard for us to “let go” or distance ourselves from, because of the meaning that is given to family in cultures around the world. But what if there are members of your family who are negative, toxic, mean-spirited and do not want the best for you? Coming to the awareness that a family member – no matter what their exterior displays – does not wish you well can be a hard one to swallow.
Some family members may insist that because “we’re family,” that it is their right to treat you in a certain way. But no, it is not their right. In fact, it’s nobody’s right to control, manipulate, or hurt you in any way. Unconditional love is unconditional. So, if a family member is treating you in a way that is conditional, you may just want to take a good, hard look at that person and see them for who they truly are.
So how do you let go of negative or toxic family members?
Acknowledge The Truth
Letting go doesn’t necessarily mean cutting them off completely, although in some cases, that may be the best solution. Firstly, you must accept and acknowledge who that person truly is and their intentions. Knowing the truth goes a long way in helping you take the necessary action to best deal with them.
Secondly, set boundaries with family members. A major part of the problem with family is that you have spent so much time with them and have grown up alongside them, that there are no boundaries in place. The same relationships with family members often continue to play out, way passed the infant stage and well in to adulthood.
By setting boundaries, you are creating a mental checklist of what you are willing to accept from a family member, to do or not do for a family member, and to know your limits. Boundaries will enable you to know if a family member has overstepped the mark. It also enables you to stand your ground and to regain control of the situation. Setting up boundaries also ensures that if you give someone a hand, they won’t take an arm, so to speak.
Once you have set boundaries, chances are that what were once issues are no longer issues, or that person has backed off and quite possibly, backed away from you altogether. This is true of all relationships in life be it at home or in the workplace. But if you can perfect this with your family, often the most challenging of all relationships, you most certainly can do this with anyone else. Now, you can move forward with the experience and knowledge to deal with difficult situation, and you are stronger and wiser for it!
About the Author:
Rosalind Medea is an intuitive reader and truth seeker. She cuts through illusions to help people see the truth in situations and advises on practical solutions that support them in their journey. She also works with the Tarot and I Ching, and loves sharing the wisdom and insights they bring.