While some of us long for love and have yet to meet a potential soul mate, others, like Tamara, appear to have the opposite problem. Tamara, who was in her mid-twenties when we first spoke, was both beautiful and accomplished. With big blue eyes, a lovely figure, and a winning disposition, not to mention a bustling career as a commercial designer and a penchant for volunteering, it wasn’t hard to see why she was so popular. Men were always asking for her phone number or inviting her on dates.
Tamara went out often, but refrained from getting too serious with anyone. She’d always enjoyed meeting new men and keeping her options open. Then, at around the time of her 25th birthday, she began to experience a shift in her mindset. “As much as I love playing the field and getting all the attention,” she admitted, “I’ve just started to yearn for something deeper. Guess my nesting instinct has finally kicked in, and I’m ready to settle down.”
Tamara told me she’d been reviewing her options, and had come up with three serious romantic candidates. All three men had made overtures that they would like to establish a more serious relationship with her. Up until that point, she’d been careful to make it very clear that while she enjoyed their company, she hadn’t been ready to take that next step. Now that she was ready, she needed help deciding which of her suitors would make the most positive long-term partner. Would it be Kevin the chef; Frank, her former college professor; or Shawn, who ran a junk removal and recycling business?
“Let’s focus on your choices, and see what we can come up with,” I said.
I asked Tamara to picture “Bachelor Number one,” Kevin. After a moment or two of concentration, I pulled a card from the deck to represent him. Knight of Wands, was indeed, a card that dealt with the kind of “fiery” personality that one so often associates with successful chefs. It depicts a beautifully outfitted knight astride a powerful horse charging headlong into the desert. The red plumage on his helmet symbolizes fire, and the card itself speaks of great sweeping changes, grand gestures, and brilliant spectacle.
“I’m guessing that Kevin is never boring,” I ventured.
“No, not in the least,” Tamara concurred.
“But I’m also thinking he’s somewhat mercurial, so not boring, but easily bored, or quickly dissatisfied, perhaps?
“Yes,” Tamara confirmed, “he’s always on to the next new thing.”
The next candidate we considered was college professor Frank. “Form an image of him in your head,” I told her, “and concentrate on what it would be like to be in a relationship with him. The card that came up for Frank was the King of Swords, which depicts a very strong, straightforward character, gazing directly out from his throne. While the visage he presents is masterful, rather than confrontational, it’s clear that this man commands authority and demands respect.
“This man has been a great mentor to you,” I offered. “He’s been instrumental in helping you become the person you are today.”
“That’s true,” Tamara acknowledged. In college, she’d felt somewhat rudderless and adrift. “I didn’t really know what I wanted to be when I grew up,” Tamara laughed. “Frank helped me tune into my true talents, and it’s really him I have to thank for my career.”
“That’s a lot to be grateful for,” I agreed, “but gratitude is not always something you can build a relationship on.”
Finally, we turned our focus to Tamara’s third potential partner, Shawn. The card that turned up for him was the King of Cups. This King of Cups sits steadfast on his throne, richly garbed, an island of calm amidst a roiling sea around him. He appears both wise and approachable, and is the type of man others seek out for good counsel.
“I think Shawn is definitely not judgmental, and if anything, he is perhaps too accepting of others? I asked.
“Shawn gives everyone the benefit of the doubt,” Tamara averred. “And everyone gets a second chance with him, even when they don’t always deserve it.”
“You do have three very interesting choices,” I told her. “Now let’s pick a card for you to see which one is the most closely aligned to the best possible outcome.”
The card that came up to represent Tamara was the Two of Cups. This card, more so than The Lovers, which is more carnal in nature, represents a true meeting of minds and spirits. Above the couple’s heads, the sign of the caduceus is emblematic of healthy interaction. This is a card that speaks of balance: the man and the woman in this card are equal to one another, and the cups they exchange are of like value and fullness. The card does not lack emotion, but suggests a passion to be built and harnessed, rather than a wildfire that will consume and engulf those in its path.
After telling Tamara what I’d interpreted, I told her, “I think I know which choice makes the most sense for you.” Kevin might be thrilling, but he was not likely to be long-term material. “I don’t necessarily mean he’d get bored with you,” I explained, “but his constant need for new stimulation is going to wear pretty thin after awhile.”
While Frank’s potential was slightly better, I still wasn’t convinced that he was the best match for Tamara. Frank would always feel paternal and somewhat superior to Tamara. The mentor/mentee scenario is fine when you’re in school, but it doesn’t always make for the most balanced relationship dynamic. “It’s like Pygmalion,” I told her. “Sometimes the creation outgrows its creator, and I think in your case, that’s pretty likely to happen.”
That, of course, left Shawn. With his fair-minded ways, open heart, and willingness to commit to those who needed a break, he seemed the most agreeable option. Of course, Tamara would have to balance his tendency to view the world with rose-colored glasses with a bit of common sense, but it seemed to me, they were well and truly matched. “I don’t think you really need me to tell you he’s the best option, do you?” I laughed.
“I really was leaning in that direction,” Tamara admitted, “but this reading has helped to clarify my thoughts.”
Several months after our initial consultation, I got a status report from Tamara. She’d stopped playing the field, and after letting her other suitors down gently, had settled into a committed relationship with Shawn. “I think we really have a bright future together, personally and professionally,” she told me. Tamara had taken her eye for design and applied it to Shawn’s recycling business. Together, they had opened a storefront space adjoining his warehouse that featured trendy and whimsical up-cycled creations, as well as a series of community-oriented crafting workshops. Their shared love for volunteer work drew them even closer together.
“Looking back, there was really only one clear choice, after all,” she said. “I don’t think I could ever have been happy with Frank or Kevin.” Tamara looked to be on the road to long-term happiness, and I couldn’t have been happier for her.
Have you got too many potential suitors, and want to figure out who is the best candidate for long-term love? A KEEN tarot advisor can help narrow the pack to get you on track for romance.