Ever been on a first date with a guy who would just not shut up about his “amazing” exploits? Or found your attraction to that luxe lady with the TV star hair soured by her rude manners? Perhaps your man’s corporate success isn’t as attractive as it once was—rather you find he’s a jerk.
We’ve all been there. As central to our lives as dating is, sometimes it just sucks. I personally always pay attention to a potential date’s Sun sign because each sign presents certain common pitfalls. Not that you have to avoid certain signs altogether, but it helps to know what you’re getting into!
And, of course—know thyself! As a Leo woman, I recognize my own less than attractive tendencies, so I can laugh at myself when I find them showing up. We all have negative traits, but the first step to being an amazing person is self-awareness and a willingness to adjust.
Let’s take a look at common dating mistakes as governed by our astrological Sun sign.
Self-interest, self-absorption—it’s your thing, and it can be a real dating downer. If someone has the audacity to steer the conversation away from your interests, you can get a little snarky. If anyone is likely to show up for drinks in their gym gear, it’s you. And when it comes to the bedroom, a little foreplay wouldn’t go amiss.
You have a tendency to either sit brooding in the corner—stubbornly waiting for someone to approach you—or you let your manners fall to the wayside as you gobble up the swanky appetizers. And don’t let any insecurities about your finances or social status cause you to order the most expensive dish on the first date or avoid ever paying for dates yourself.
You know you can be a little distracted, a little superficial. You get props for your funny side, but sometimes it’s nice to have serious and meaningful conversations, too. Make sure you show up on time and don’t forget your wallet! You’re so witty and interesting—just throw a little more responsibility into the mix.
Claws! Pinchers! Has someone hurt your feelers again? Understand that not everyone is trying to rip your heart out. The defensive run to the ladies’ to blink back tears and fix your mascara more than once per night—it’s over the top. Ditto the passive aggressive little digs. You will insist on dating guys that need fixing—but they only make you sad, mad, and neurotic. Mother yourself instead of others, use your shell wisely, and pinch only in times of real danger.
I’m calling out myself and all other lions on our BS. Everything is not about us, and we need to accept that other people don’t want to bring us nice things on silver trays and compliment us all the time. You know you rock; you don’t need others to tell you! Instead of using your dramatic superpowers to get attention, use them to create great art.
So it’s your first date with Mr./Ms. Might-Be-The-One. It’s not cool to criticize the menu, the prices, traffic, your boss, your mother, his mother, or his taste in wine. Stop smoothing your hair and fiddling with your earrings. And please don’t send your entree back unless it really contains insect life or hairs not your own in it. Dating will be much easier when you accept the fact that nothing and no one is perfect.
Three weeks into the relationship isn’t the time to bring up marriage and present shade cards for bedroom paint in the apartment you will share someday. Ditto bringing up baby names and vacation plans for next year. Relax on the commitment thing. And it’s just dinner—you don’t need to spend two hours getting dressed (changing your outfit like twenty times) and calling your girlfriends for moral support.
Your inner world is dramatic and deeply emotional, but that isn’t everyone’s reality. Some people can’t go deep on the first date—or ever. Screen your dates carefully to find others that enjoy the edgy side of life. There are those who will do the sexy underworld romp thing—if they know that’s what they’re getting into. Be honest, and don’t waste time pretending to be a shy little wallflower.
Like Gemini, you might struggle with being on time, making plans, and commitment. Also—first dates don’t need to be your hunting ground for the solution to all the world’s problems or a philosophical debate. Lighten up a little on the conversation, and give your date a break if they haven’t traveled the world, earned three degrees, or saved the whales. They still might be a great person.
So you’ve just found out that your date isn’t the CEO of company X, like you thought. And now you’ve noticed that their cuffs are frayed and their watch is a Singapore night market knock-off. Try to put your judgmental instincts aside and give them a chance. Not every social contact is meant to elevate your status.
I know you value your unique and quirky nature, but if you can’t come down to earth and mix with the rest of us, you’re going to be awfully lonely in your ivory tower. Behind her everyday facade, your date just might have unique and amazing qualities of her own. Yes, I know, you are brilliant, but remember that normal is fine.
Yo—dream girl! Spacing out on the first twenty minutes of your date’s conversation isn’t the way to win friends and influence people. You may think you don’t need to use words to understand him, that you can just merge over the creme brûlée, but some people need a little more reality. Come down to earth, put your feet on the ground, and pay attention.
As an astrologer, I spend a lot of my time looking at the amazing aspects of our Sun signs, so it’s a relief to recognize that we’ve all got flaws! Like I said, take the time to laugh at yourself but also own and adjust those not-so-pleasant qualities. And take it easy on your date—acknowledging their own flaws will help you be more compassionate. Your love life will flourish if you do.
We all need help with our shadow selves. Why not let an advisor on Keen help you grow into a more positive expression of your highest self?