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“I’ve done everything I can think of,” Janeen told me. “I’ve been in therapy, written letters of forgiveness, been on a few dates … yet I still feel like my ex is with me. It’s been a year! I want to move on.”

“I have an idea,” I said. “Let’s examine your chakras and energy field. It may be that there are still energetic cords to your ex that are keeping you two connected.”

Often we can be diligent in our personal growth work, addressing heartbreak emotionally and spiritually, yet the energetic component gets overlooked. I teach my clients a simple procedure they can do at any time to recognize and remove energetic cords from any kind of relationship. 

What is an Energetic Cord?

Whenever we form a strong relationship with someone—parents, children, friends, lovers—there is an opportunity to create an energetic bond that looks, to the clairvoyant, like a cord of light energy streaming from one person to the other. Sometimes these cords are entirely appropriate, such as between a parent and a small child or when we are exchanging positive energies with another: friendship, love, or compassion, for example. Cords help make connections and exchange energy of some kind with the other person.

But beyond the stage of dependent childhood, it isn’t appropriate to have permanent cords with another person, even if these connections are positive in nature. Once our ego and adult identity is established, we are perfectly capable of energizing ourselves by plugging into our own Divine nature. In the healthiest scenario, we may give and receive temporary cords with others, but we always come back to our own energy and let others have their own energy.

If you have a situation like Janeen’s in which you can’t seem to move on from a relationship or have someone constantly on your mind, it’s likely that you have cords with that person. If you feel you can’t survive without another person (again, past the age of dependent childhood), then you have cords. If you feel bound to another, even if you don’t want to, you likely have cords.

What Problems Do Cords Create?

Most of us create cords that keep us enmeshed with others, and we become dependent on the energy from that other person (or vice versa). No matter how it looks—loving, caring, kind—to choose long-term cording with another creates co-dependency. In more extreme cases, one of the connecting parties may also become exhausted or drained. It may keep you from fully stepping into your own identity and power. If the cords carry energies of anger, conscious dependency, obligation, or any other negative emotion, this will create distress in your own energy field

Cords can also allow you to influence the energy of another or for their energy to influence you. If you have a breakup situation where one party did not want the relationship to end, they can, with cords, maintain a connection. This was the situation with Janeen. Her ex wanted her back, and though the cording was unconscious, he was keeping their connection alive through cords between their heart chakras.

Cords can become tangled, knotted, or enmeshed and can damage the chakras they are plugged into. This is why you might experience exhaustion or a lack of ability to properly manifest the functions of the chakra in question.

An energy healer or psychic can perceive these cords help you remove them, and assist with restructuring and realigning chakras. But you can do cord work yourself, too, and it’s good to know how. We are always cording, uncording, and forming new relationships. The more conscious you can become of this process, the healthier you can be in sharing energy with others.

How to Perceive Cords

Cords are most common between the second, third, and fourth chakras, but they can occur between any energy center. You can do this exercise with any relationship, but it is especially useful if you are feeling sad or tied to a romantic partner after a breakup. 

The first step to perceiving a cord is to think about the situations I’ve described. Also, you can scan your own chakras using your intuition. Just focus on each chakra and see what you perceive. Does it feel open? Shut down? Energized? This isn’t as hard as it sounds—just take some quiet time to sit and do an energetic check-in. Most of my clients find that they can perceive their own chakras after a few tries.

 If you don’t feel confident or comfortable scanning your own chakras, use another technique. You’ll need privacy and time to sit quietly for a few minutes. If there is a relationship you are wondering about, sit and focus on that person. Notice how your body responds when you think about them. Do you feel a sensation in your heart? In your throat? In your solar plexus? Does your lower back tense up? Do you frown? Often you will feel a literal pull when you are around someone or think of them. Wherever you feel the energy, this may be the chakra that is most affected by their energy and where cords may be connected.

When you have perceived a cord in a relationship, just notice it and don’t panic. Set aside some time later to have a meaningful ritual to remove the cords.

Removing Cords

Removing cords is very simple, and it’s helpful, along with other tools, when getting over heartbreak. I give my clients the following simple ritual to do at home. You will need a candle and a place to be alone and undisturbed. If you have an incense, essential oil blend, or crystals, place them on your altar with the candle. 

Sit comfortably, light your candle, and take a few moments to observe your breath. Focus your attention on the chakra where you perceive the cords to be connected. Then imagine yourself reaching into that chakra, with gentle hands, and simply unplugging the cord. Say the words: I release ______ (the person) from my _____ chakra. I release my desire, conscious or unconscious, for connection. I release and return this cord to _______ (your word for the divine). I am whole and complete without this cord. I can love and be loved without this cord. (Say these last two sentences three times.) I ask my angels and guides to fill the space that this cord occupied with love. I ask to be connected to my own divine energy of love. I ask that ______’s (the person) guides and angels help him/her to do the same. Now imagine your chakra filling with rose and white light. When you feel complete, thank your guides, thank yourself, and end your meditation.

Some clients like to visualize cutting the cord with a sword, scissors, or light. This is fine, but I like unplugging the whole thing. It feels cleaner. I recommend that people do this ritual 21 days in a row. It is a powerful process and really helps people  move on. If you have a relationship you want to maintain but in a healthier way, you are doing both of you a favor by removing cords. It won’t take away memories, destroy any positive emotions, or harm the other person.

Janeen had tangled and knotted cords that were creating trouble in her heart chakra. Though she did perform the ritual—our first step—she wasn’t able to remove the cords completely. Our final session around this issue brought her huge relief. I removed the remaining tangled ends of the cord. Her chakra felt different afterwards, and she was amazed to find the energy of her ex had faded away. She still had her good memories and wished him well, but the feeling of obligation and connection was gone. For Janeen and others who struggle to let go of relationships, breaking cords can be a fundamental step in freeing yourself of old energy and moving on to new possibilities.

If you try the above ritual and feel no relief, you may need the assistance of a psychic or healer. Call an advisor on Keen today and get the support you need!