You’re fairly confident that you’ve found “the one” and you’ve been together long enough to realize you’ve reached a serious decision-making period: Do you get married or pull a Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel and make a commitment to spend the rest of your lives together without any formalities? It’s also possible that you’ve been holding on to a relationship (or vice-versa) that needs to be put out to pasture. Here are some questions to ask yourself before deciding you’re ready to tie the knot.
This person isn’t your “everything.”
Sure, you want someone who is dependable and loves you conditionally, but if your S.O. is the only person in your life that counts, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate why you’re in a relationship in the first place, which leads us to…
You’d still feed good about yourself even if you weren’t in a relationship.
This is key as you can’t love someone else without loving yourself first. If the relationship doesn’t work out, you need to have comfort in knowing that you’ll be okay.
You’re willing to make compromises.
Marriage is about more than making a commitment, it’s also about being able to put others needs ahead of your own from time-to-time. Of course, that works both ways, so your partner has to reciprocate. It’s all about making compromises in order to have balance.
When you think about your future, you see your partner in the mix.
If you don’t, then chances are you’re not ready to tie the knot—especially if you’re having any doubts whatsoever regarding the future potential with your mate.
You’re able to have serious, open, and honest conversations.
This pertains to everything from finances to personal insecurities and everything in between. You have to be able to openly talk about every topic—even those that make you uncomfortable, otherwise, this could have a destructive effect on your partnership down the road. So, when asking yourself “Am I ready for marriage?” you should also ask yourself whether or not there are any secrets between you.
Your morals, beliefs, and life plans are in sync with one another
If you have fundamental differences regarding any of these important topics, your marriage could have several rough patches if not eventually self-destruct all together. Again, this is all about communication.
You’re not dreading the thought of spending the rest of your life with one person.
There’s cold feet and then there’s downright fear and dread when you think about “everlasting love.” If it’s the latter, it’s time to put the breaks on the marriage conversation.
You’re able to be yourself in good times and in bad.
Everyone is on their best behavior at the beginning of a relationship, but you have to be able to show your true colors in order to make a partnership last for the long term. This is one of the benefits of marriage and a healthy union.
You’re actually in love with your partner—you don’t just love them.
Just because someone is good to you and you get along doesn’t mean he or she is marriage material. Being in love is the whole package.
You’re not jealous of your single friends.
It should be a big indicator that you’re not ready for marriage if you feel like you’re missing out on something, to include the single life.
You’re wondering “Why do people get married?”.
If you’re not even sure why people want to get married in the first place, then you clearly don’t have “forever” on the brain—and that’s okay. Marriage isn’t for everyone, so don’t feel like you have to be a square peg in a round hole just because you feel the pressure to follow suit with those in your age bracket or social circle.
Read more about ways to determine whether or not you’re ready to get hitched.