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Who hasn’t noticed the full moon and how much silvery light it sheds? Have you gazed in awe as its light reflects off water and leaves, making everything seem mysterious and magical? Or have you enjoyed the absolute darkness of the new moon when stars shine with extra brilliance? The moon affects us all—even if we don’t always take the time to notice it between the dramatic phases of new and full. 

Tides, physical cycles and systems, planting and harvesting crops, and more are affected by the moon’s phase, or where the moon is in relationship to the sun. If you observe it closely, you’ll see that the moon looks slightly different each night. It has a cycle of approximately twenty-eight days, during which it passes through eight phases. Each phase has its own characteristics that influence life on Earth—including our relationships! 

Our emotions and energy are affected by the moon, so it makes sense to plan dates with some attention to the moon phase. I invite clients to take a month or two to play with scheduling romantic or relationship-oriented activities according to the moon phases. 

Moon phases can be easier to work with than the moon signs (though this is fun and effective, too). I recommend choosing one or the other rather than trying to work with both and potentially confusing yourself! There is no right or wrong, however—just experiment and see how the moon speaks to you

The Eight Phases of the Moon and Love

The first phase of the moon’s cycle is the new phase. No light is visible at all, so the moon appears to be absent from the sky. This is a great time to plant the seeds of a new relationship, set intentions for attracting love, or move a relationship into a new phase—for example, moving from dating to “going steady.”

The second phase is the waxing crescent. A relationship started in this phase may struggle to survive. The moon is just emerging, so the energy is like that of a seed that has germinated and is now pushing up through the ground. There is hard work; energy must be expended. If you need to focus effort in an area of the relationship, this may be a good time—provided all parties are willing to participate. 

The third moon phase is the first quarter. This energy, to continue the plant analogy, is when the seedling sends down roots and begins to create tiny leaves. It’s a growing stage, an active stage. This is a good time to play together, push boundaries a little, and enjoy some excitement. Make sure everyone stays within their comfort zone, though, as too much chaos won’t be fruitful.

The Gibbous stage—when the moon is still waxing but appears close to full— is next. An interesting stage, it brings a sense of anticipation and carries the energy of self-analysis and introspection. This can create great energy for a calm heart-to-heart with an established love. However,  it’s not the best for a first date as you may get bogged down in feeling like you have to be perfect or over-analyze everything your new date says and does.

When the moon reaches its full stage, it presents the compelling glow we see every month. This is the stage of manifestation when the guy you’ve been flirting with may finally ask you out or when you reap the reward of some hard emotional work. If you’ve been waiting to consummate an affair or even to get pregnant, the full moon can be a powerful time to do so.

The sixth stage is the disseminating phase. Because this moon’s energy focuses on giving back and integrating within society, it’s a great time to introduce your new love to friends and family or to otherwise make your community the focus of your romantic endeavors. Group activity is also favored. 

If there is any doubt about a relationship, the third (or last) quarter is the time to address it. You may find that breaking up is easier at this moon phase or that the hard conversations are less emotionally strenuous at this time. In pagan traditions, the waning moon is a time to dispel or relinquish behaviors, beliefs, and patterns which no longer serve you or the relationship. It’s not the best time for a first date, though.

The final moon phase is the balsamic stage when the moon is a mere sliver in the sky. This is a time of transition. If you need to create space in a relationship or take a break from dating, this is a good time to do so. 

The moon—and other planets—play a role in our love lives, whether we notice how their energy affects us or not. Paying attention to the phases of the moon and how they seem to influence you personally is the most powerful way to utilize the vibrational energies of this heavenly body. Your own personality, moon sign by birth, and the phase the moon was in when you were born will all subtly affect how you work with the moon’s phases and energy. The blessings of the moon are available to you at all times, so why not learn to integrate this beautiful energy into your life? As the ruler of emotion, the moon can be a valuable ally in the tricky world of human relations.

Are you starting a new relationship or wanting to move a relationship forward? Look for an advisor on Keen that has experience working with astrology or the moon. Call today!