“I’m attracted to Dave,” Ally told me. “But emotionally, he’s like a desert. It’s like he doesn’t have real feelings! It’s making me wonder if we should be together.”

Looking over their birth charts, I could see they had some good Venus and Mars connections and fairly compatible Sun signs. But the Moon was where it was all going haywire.

“Your Moon signs struggle to understand each other,” I told her. “The Moon rules emotions, expression, and security needs. It’s important in relationships because it relates to primal understanding and compatibility.”

Understanding your own Moon sign will help you ask for what you need in relationships or give emotional support to yourself. And knowing your partner’s sign will help you support him/her in ways that are best for them.

Moon in Aries

This Moon needs direct speech, action, and a passionate connection. Emotional finesse isn’t her strong point, and she may be perfectly willing to say where you’ve gone wrong. She needs a partner who can understand her need for freedom and deal with bold communication. This Moon is best with Leo Moons, Sag, Gemini, or Aquarius. Moon in Cancer or Scorpio will find an Aries Moon impossible to connect with.

Moon in Taurus

Taurus Moon wants life to be good! She needs grounded connections, physical affection, and simple romance. She’s steady and can get emotionally dug into relationships past the time to move on because she doesn’t want to change. Great with a secure Scorpio Moon, Capricorn, Virgo, Libra, and Pisces, but she won’t find joy in a fire Moon (Leo, Aries, Sag) and may find Aquarius and Gemini too mental.

Moon in Gemini

Gemini Moon hates boredom. She will typically have many friends and interests and need to express herself in a variety of ways. She doesn’t like examining feelings at every turn—she will drive Scorpio crazy—and Leo will find her too fickle. Capricorn Moons will dismiss her as superficial, and Cancer won’t like her restlessness. This Moon can do well with Libra, Sag, Aquarius, Aries, and sometimes Virgo.

Moon in Cancer

Changeable and emotional, Cancer Moons need patience, understanding, and someone who is willing to draw them out of their shell. This Moon, more than any other, must learn to depend on herself emotionally to avoid co-dependent relationships. She is best with stable Capricorn Moons, Taurus, Pisces and even Virgo—if they can tone back their criticism. Scorpio will likely be too intense and the air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) too heady. Forget the fire signs too—Cancer Moon won’t like the heat.

Moon in Leo

Leo Moons need lots of adoration—which is easy because they are fun and lovable. This Moon needs a lot of space to emotionally express and must develop good tools to deal with her tendency for drama. Great with other fire signs—though Aries Moons will need to learn some flattery. Libra Moons may like her warmth, but Gemini and Aquarius won’t be focused enough. Leo Moon with water signs is typically more trouble than it’s worth.

Moon in Virgo

Virgo needs her “sacred work,” whatever that is for her, and she needs to be honored for her efforts while being gently encouraged to drop being perfect. Most Virgo Moons need a clean environment and express themselves logically. Her downfall is insecurity and criticism, but Virgo Moon can be the most dedicated of companions. She works well with other earth Moons (Cap, Taurus), Gemini, and Libra. Pisces and Cancer are also possible Moon-mates. Leo and Aries are tough for her, but Sag Moon may find a philosophical connection.

Moon in Libra

Such an accommodating Moon—sometimes to her own detriment—she is good with many different energies. She needs a pretty environment, thrives on harmony, and hates fighting. Libra Moon may be indecisive, and this can lead to letting others take charge in the relationship too much. Great with most other Moon signs, but Aries and Sagittarius may present too much independence. She may get bogged down with water Moons (Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio) unless they are good at setting boundaries themselves.

Moon in Scorpio

Ah, the sexy, intense, psychologically driven Scorpio Moon. She is a deep friend and lover but can be the hardest to satisfy emotionally. Like Cancer, she needs to take care of herself emotionally to avoid co-dependency. She will stay up all night discussing your psyche, reading Tarot cards, or making love one hundred different ways. Pisces will flow with her, Taurus can ground her, and Cap and Virgo can be her rock, though they may need a time out once in awhile. Fire Moons—nope. Aquarius and Gemini may find her interesting but ultimately too much work.

Moon in Sagittarius

This Moon needs freedom, interesting conversation, and a room of her own. She must grow so she never feels stuck in a relationship. Her worst side is she can be convinced she is right, in which case, you’ll never win an argument. She’ll do fine with most Moons, except Cancer, Scorpio, and earth Moons that are stuck in a rut. Most likely, along with Gemini Moons, to remain friends with their exes.

Moon in Capricorn

Deeply sensitive yet super practical, this Moon will not tolerate emotional fluff. She’s intensely loyal, but you’ve got to win her trust and never betray her. This Moon loves structure and a practical approach to solving relationship problems. This integrity can make evolved Scorpio Moons a winning match, and earth Moons are typically winners as well. Leo Moon will love Cap devotion, but may not be able to meet Cap’s high expectations. Pisces’ innate understanding of depth will feel like a balm to the often misunderstood Cap Moon soul.

Moon in Aquarius

An independent Moon, this sign craves dialogue, discourse, and discovery. She’s emotionally objective, even aloof, and may completely stymie water Moons. Aquarius Moons can handle polyamory well and anything that smacks of the avant garde. They need freedom and stimulation, though, like Sag, they can get locked into a one-sided view of what is right. This is the least emotionally expressive Moon, and she does well with Gemini, Libra, Aries, and Sag Moons.

Moon in Pisces

This empathic Moon needs a safe “cave” to retreat in when she gets overwhelmed by all the feelings around her. Some kind of spiritual life and a calm environment will help her blossom. She is service-oriented and must learn to set boundaries to avoid depleting her energy. This Moon makes a lovely companion to Virgo and Capricorn. A settled Sag Moon or a self-reliant Scorpio might find companionship here as well. Pisces may like the nurturing of a Cancer moon but will struggle with fire moons and the remoteness of Aquarius.

Can Incompatible Moons Survive?

Ally’s Moon was in Leo. She was big-hearted, warm, and loved the give and take of emotions. But Dave’s Moon was in Aquarius. He filtered most of his emotions through his thinking faculty and couldn’t give Ally the emotional feedback her Leo Moon craved.

As with any astrological connection, you can make anything work, depending on how hard you are willing to try. I told Ally that Dave was never going to be the warm, adoring type, though he could learn to speak a love language that felt more natural for her. Was she willing to give herself more of the love she was seeking from Dave? If not, no matter how good other components were, she would always feel emotionally shut out by him.

Ally took a few weeks to consider. When she came for another session, she reported that she had decided to step back from the relationship.

“I came to understand that I need emotional interplay. It was hard to let go of Dave, but I think it’s for the best. And in the meantime, I’m working on self-love.”

Your Moon sign is vital to co-creating a lasting, satisfying relationship with yourself and with another. Understanding needs and emotional patterns by knowing Moon signs will give you a head start in navigating both new and established relationships—and relationships with family and friends, too.

Curious about Moon signs? Find the advisors on Keen who use astrology and discover more about your hidden emotional needs.