“I have this friend,” Mary Jo began. “She’s nice, and we’ve been friends a long time…but in the last few years, she’s just gotten so dependent on me. I mean, she hates it when I have other friends or don’t invite her along on everything I do. It’s like we’re in middle school! I don’t want to ditch her, but I’m finding it hard to be her friend now. What’s going on?”
“I’m dealing with these two women,” Emma told me. “One is a housemate, the other a colleague. Both of them act like they own me. One—Paula—even said that! I feel like they are both trying to have power over me. Why am I attracting these kinds of frenemies?”
Both of these calls came in the last week, and I was struck by how difficult it is, for women especially, to deal with challenging friendships. Many of my clients understand that their romantic relationships are impacted by past life karma, but they don’t realize that all their relationships can be influenced by karma or limiting beliefs. Breaking up with a lover is hard, but breaking up a friendship feels almost impossible. By understanding what is at the root of a difficult friendship, though, you can make an informed decision to either stay or go.
A Sister’s Promise
I sensed that Mary Jo’s situation was past-life related, and she agreed to a reading to determine what was going on between her and her friend Brenda. When I looked into MJ’s Akashic Record, I found that she had a contract of protection with Brenda. Or, more specifically, Brenda was holding onto one end of a contract that Mary Jo had decided to terminate. The contract was still driving Brenda’s behavior—on an unconscious level, she expected Mary Jo to continue “protecting” her by being her best and only friend.
In a past life, these two women were sisters. As the elder, Mary Jo had promised their mother on her deathbed that she would look after her delicate and mentally ill younger sister (Brenda). This created the contract of protection. In this life, the sisters were always together, with Brenda becoming distressed whenever Mary Jo tried to pursue a life of her own.
In their current life, Mary Jo had done a lot of personal healing and let go of her end of the contract. It was at this time that Brenda became more dependent, as she energetically sensed that MJ had severed their agreement. Of course, neither women were really aware of what was happening and were perfectly free to remain friends and create new karma.
I told Mary Jo that she wasn’t obligated to take care of Brenda anymore, and if she wanted to let go of the friendship, there was no karmic reason stopping her. Unless Brenda went through healing of her own to release the old dependency, things wouldn’t change. Ultimately, MJ decided to sever the friendship. It was hard, but she understood that Brenda was no longer a fragile, dependent relation—she would be fine on her own.
Emma’s situation was different in that it was not impacted by past life karma with her two frenemies. A look at her aura and her chakras determined that she had a weak third chakra, which led to feeling disempowered. In response, Emma had created cords with her roommate, Wendy, and her colleague, Paula. Both women were strong and powerful, so Emma had attracted them unconsciously because of her lack of power. It was as if her compromised third chakra was broadcasting a signal that drew these powerful—and unfortunately manipulative—women into her life.
I also saw that Emma’s mother was very present in her aura. Her mother, a strong character, had run Emma’s life when she was a young woman. Since she had been dead many years, Emma hadn’t seen the parallel between her two friends and her mother. What Emma wanted most was to feel autonomous and self-reliant, yet she had never really experienced that. Instead, she had a negative attachment to strong, manipulative women.
Over a few more sessions, I worked with Emma to balance and strengthen her third chakra, remove the cords, and work on developing her own self-reliance. One of the first steps was to walk away from both of her frenemy relationships. This was difficult as it required her to find a new living situation as well as transfer to a different office in her company. But afterward, she was amazed to find how empowered she felt.
“I thought that I’d feel like I was running away,” she said. “Like a coward or like I couldn’t stand up to these women.”
“Sometimes the smartest, strongest thing we can do is walk away,” I said.
In both these situations, the women chose to leave their difficult friendships. That isn’t always the best choice, but we do often stay in relationships well past their useful or productive life span. Whatever you choose, you can use the situation for further healing and growth. Working with an objective, compassionate psychic can help you find the clarity and answers you need to either dig deep into your friendship or move on.
Do you have a challenging friendship you don’t know what to do with? Or a frenemy who is driving you crazy? An advisor on Keen can help you make the best decision for you. Call today!