Understanding How Spirit Guides Can Help You Overcome Insecurity

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“So—I’m nervous here. And kinda skeptical, “ Amber said. “I mean, I don’t know if a psychic can help me with the stuff I’m dealing with. I don’t even really know where to start.”

I encouraged her to just begin with what was presently concerning her. She revealed that she was suffering from a tremendous sense of insecurity and jealousy in her relationship with her boyfriend. There was no reason, she kept assuring me. “I’m just neurotic, I know,” she said. 

As we continued with the session, I felt that one of her spirit guides wanted to come through.

“You have a spirit guide who really wants to help you with this,” I told her. “Are you open to meeting it?”

She was unsure but also excited. She agreed to let me channel the guide and see what it had to say about her insecurity. Guides are present in our lives to help with the human issues that affect everyone, as well as those lessons we choose, as souls, to specifically explore. For Amber, it soon became clear that her guide was an ally in her lesson of self-trust and self-love.

Meet Charmaine

The first thing to keep in mind about spirit guides is that they have been human. They will often show up with clear personalities, names they want to be called, and a specific role to play in our lives. They are different from angels in this way. Spirit guides have had a ton of their own life experience and have chosen to serve the Divine as guides. Not all guides come through like gangbusters—but Charmaine did.

Charmaine appeared to me as a plump, middle-aged woman in a brightly colored dress and a hat from the early 60’s. She got right down to business as soon as I invited her to come through.

“Amber, honey, you and I have got to get together on this jealousy thing! No man—no person—can handle the kind of BS you are throwing their way. You are your own worst enemy. Are you willing to straighten this out?”

After she got over her surprise at Charmaine’s strong personality, Amber entered into the conversation with curiosity. Charmaine firmly but lovingly laid down her guidelines to help Amber overcome her insecurity. The first step was for Amber to recognize when she was letting her “lizard brain” fears of abandonment start running the show.

“I’m gonna message you when you start doing that,” Charmaine said, “so you can learn to catch yourself and stop. That’s the first step. Let’s agree on a sign.”

“We can do that?” Amber asked, completely surprised.

“Yep, that way you won’t start to doubt me,” Charmaine said. “I know how it goes. After we meet, then you start to wonder. It’s normal. But I’m here now, and I’m only goin’ if you send me away. I’m here for you, girl!”

They agreed that whenever Amber was letting her primal fear of abandonment run away with her, Charmaine would deliver the sign “lizard.” It could come as a word, an image, a literal reptile—any form. Charmaine also added that Amber could talk to her whenever and ask for help in any area of her life.

An Ongoing Relationship

I’m always excited when people start working with their guides, and I encouraged Amber to check in within a few weeks. She did, and reported that she and Charmaine were having a great time messaging and that her moments of insecurity were getting less out of control.

“It’s amazing. I’ve seen pictures of lizards on buses, had people randomly drop the word into a conversation, or once got the “sign” from a pair of lizard skin shoes. The great thing is, I am able to catch myself going down this unhelpful thought road, and it’s making my life tons better already.”

I continued to channel Charmaine for Amber, and over the next few months, Amber was able to do deeper work around her fear of abandonment. Eventually, Amber was able to communicate with Charmaine without my help. Her relationship with her boyfriend improved because she was no longer mistrusting him. She felt more emotionally self-reliant and empowered.

“It’s not like I wouldn’t be hurt if Danny cheated or something, but I just know now I’d be able to handle it. I know that I’m fine on my own, and I always have spiritual help!”

Amber was able to transform her insecurities around her relationship with her boyfriend, which were really deeper issues of self-trust. Her life was changed: beyond the sphere of relationships, Amber felt more capable and empowered to take care of herself. The solution to a specific issue—her insecurity—blossomed into a universal life lesson. As Amber said, ”How great is that?!”


Spirit guides don’t make choices for us, nor do they tell us what to do. They give guidance and support, and we are totally free to do what we want after that. They have access to Divine wisdom and can be real friends and companions for us, if we invite them in. You can make contact with your guides yourself or ask a psychic advisor to do so on your behalf. It’s an amazing way to go through life, knowing you have a spiritual team without judgment or expectation on your side. 

Meeting your spirit guides is fun and so helpful! Advisors on Keen can help facilitate this process. Don’t hesitate—your team is waiting to meet you!

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