Lisa was a forty-year-old client who had been seeing me for some time and working on issues left over from her divorce. She had been married for ten years, but the union had never really been satisfactory to her. She had tried online dating, set-ups from friends, and attended a divorced singles meet-up for a while but has no luck meeting anyone.
When reading her energy field, I saw an image of a young man in a football uniform. I told her about the image.
“Does this mean anything to you? The colors are purple and gold. He’s got brown hair, quite handsome, brown eyes.”
“Oh my God,” she cried. “It’s Bailey! What is the number on his uniform?”
“Twenty-two. Do you know him? Was he a boyfriend, a first love, maybe?”
Lisa went on to tell me about her long-standing crush on this boy, who she’d been in school with since second grade. She had always loved him from afar. In her mind, Bailey was the perfect boy, and she told me she made a vow in fourth grade that she would always love him.
“It’s silly,” she said. “But I have always felt true to him in my heart. Even when I was married to John, even through all my other boyfriends…no one could ever measure up to Bailey.”
This was exactly her problem, of course. She had vowed to always love this fantasy version of a childhood crush, and it had colored her whole relationship history.
What is Unrequited Love?
We’ve all had those crushes, those love affairs that take place solely in our minds. Our fantasy lover is perfect, romantic in just the right ways, and we never fight with them. They are the screen for the movie projector in our minds where we can safely play out all our relationship fantasies. But if we don’t let go of the fantasy, the idea of it stays with us and gets projected onto all our real relationships.
This isn’t just the purview of teenagers. I’ve had numerous clients like Lisa who are, in some form, preventing their own relationship success and happiness because of an unrequited love. Sometimes this crush gets buried in the subconscious but is still ticking away like a software program running in the background. This was the case with Lisa. She didn’t think about Bailey that often, but the vow she made as a fourth grader was so strong that it was impacting her life decades later.
Another client, Michael, had loved a woman in his office from afar for five years. He admitted that he stalked her on Facebook and contrived ways to be near her, but he never made an overt advance. She was married and didn’t really seem to notice him. He told me she was the perfect woman, he thought they must be soulmates, and he was waiting for the “inevitable” breakup of her marriage. His unrequited crush had turned a little creepy, and he was living in a fantasy world with a woman he really didn’t know. Even if they did get together, she’d never measure up to the fantasy version.
Unrequited love can turn into obsession at the worst and at least will keep you bound to a person you can’t be with, leaving your energy stuck in an eddy of unfulfillment.
How Can A Psychic Help?
A psychic can assist you in uncovering any unconscious agreements to unrequited loves and help you remove any blocks, relationship cords, or contracts that aren’t serving you.
In Lisa’s case, we created a simple process to rescind the vow she made to Bailey, and she realized that, by staying true to him, she had never allowed another man to be “the one.” John had never measured up to Bailey, but because she was comparing them subconsciously, she wasn’t even aware of it. She decided to find Bailey on Facebook and discovered, like many men approaching middle age, he was no longer the handsome sports hero of her youth. The Bailey of her dreams just didn’t exist, and this helped her get real with herself and move on.
Michael’s reading revealed that his obsession with his co-worker was really a way of keeping himself safe from actually entering into a real relationship. He had never been successful with women, and by waiting for this woman to see the light, leave her husband, and choose him, he was effectively staying passive and unhurt—although the pain of the unrequited love was quite intense. Our reading was a little of the “tough love” variety, and I let him know that his behavior wasn’t acceptable—it was doing more harm than good for both of them. We began a series of sessions focusing on his development of his self-worth, cutting some relationship cords with the grandmother who had raised him, and releasing some past life relationship blocks. Six months later, he was taking tenuous steps into dating and had stopped the lurking in his coworker’s life. He had decided to ask for a transfer to a different regional office so he could make a physical break from her as well.
We all deserve to love and be loved, and we all have our ideal relationship fantasy tucked away somewhere. But staying attached to a union that will never be can only harm us in the long run. In order to give and receive real love, we must let go of the fantasy and open our hearts to new love.
Are you dealing with an unresolved crush? Do you find that no one measures up to that first love? Or are you experiencing a lack of love in your life? An advisor on Keen can help. Call today!