Heartbreak is not selective. Heartache isn’t prejudiced. It doesn’t matter if you are male, female, straight, gay, black, white, or whatever identity you may carry. All hearts break in the same way and all hearts will mend, given enough time. As human beings, we have a built-in “impatience” factor that wants the pain to be over and prevents us from waiting out the process needed to heal. Many think that if they meet someone else soon after the breakup of a bad relationship, it will fill the void that love left.
Here are a few tips that will help you to allow enough time to heal your broken heart and assist you back into a happier and healthier space:
Evaluate the Relationship
Think really hard about the person you are no longer seeing
You may miss the relationship, but toward the end, did you truly appreciate the way you were treated? Ask yourself, “Is it the person I loved? Or being in a relationship that I loved?” A sense of being special to someone else fills all of us with joy, but if that person wasn’t treating you like you were someone special – what’s to miss?
Give Yourself Plenty of “Me” Time
Time will heal your wounds. Having alone time is how the Universe prepares you for the next better relationship that is coming your way.
Question Any Bitterness About the Breakup
Your partner may have been a real jerk toward the end, but ask yourself if you are really bitter towards this person or are you truly angry at yourself for participating in an unhealthy partnership?
Stop Blaming Yourself for Not “Fixing” the Relationship
You might be upset with yourself for trying to fix what was wrong while your partner still walked away. There are “takers” and there are “givers” in destructive relationships. You may be blessed with being a “giver”, but not everything can be fixed and a “taker” generally does not appreciate the efforts put forth by a “giver.”
Use Your Alone Time to Heal and Stretch Yourself
Do things you enjoy. Stepping out alone can be scary; however, recognize this as part of your personal growth. Try and radiate your best inner glow and project good energy when you do go out. Embrace the adventure!
Don’t Find a Replacement
A replacement is only going to be temporary – you ultimately want a relationship. You need to take the time to rebuild your emotional reservoirs. You’re really running on empty if you put yourself out there too soon.
Figure Out Who You Are and What You Want
Use this time to really get to know yourself and your wants. Write down who you are – your talents, qualities, dreams, etc. Then write down what you want from a relationship – trust, laughter, compatible interests, etc.
Find New Things That Interest You
This is your time to work on who you are. If you are behaving and doing the same things as before, then you are likely to attract the same kind of relationship. Step outside the box. Try new and different activities.
Learn How to be Alone
If you don’t like your own company how can a partner enjoy it? Pamper yourself, fix yourself healthy meals, keep your space clean and regain your self-esteem. Every time you do something kind for yourself, it will reinforce your feelings of self-worth.
You are Not Alone!
No one is singling you out, pointing fingers at the “suddenly single” person. There are lots of single people in the world. The media and event planners focus on couples and portray our society as a couples-oriented one, but you can reject that viewpoint. Be single and be proud of it! Your singledom is temporary.
Finally, thank the Universe that the relationship did not work out because there will be something better for you. Dry your eyes and cry no more. Don’t get bogged down with cynicism about love. Garner up your strength and know that the relationship you want and the person who is your true relationship equal is coming.
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- Will I Ever Fall in Love Again?
- How to Avoid Post-Breakup Weight Gain
- 8 Reasons Why Guys End Great Relationships
- Is There a Correct Way to Break Up?
- Has Your Prince Charming Lost His Directions to the Ball?
- Abandonment, Breakups and Belonging
- Why Matches Made in Heaven Sometimes Fail
- Love Sometimes Requires Letting Go
Other Articles by Advisor “Jane Wilcox”
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- Games vs. Boundaries in Dating
- Living Together vs. Marriage
- 10 Steps to Survive a Breakup
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- Ensure Your Relationship Survives Pigskin Season
- 7 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Healthy
- Are You “Plan A” or “Plan B”?
- Six Tips to Keep the Commitment in Your Relationship
- Breaking the Cyclic Relationship
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- Top 10 Signs Someone Else Is in Your Relationship