8 Rules for the First Date

Couple on dinner date, holding wine glasses as man whispers sweet nothing into coyish woman's ear

A man has asked you out on a first date. You are excited and nervous and want to make a good impression. Here are eight rules to help make that first date successful and lead to a second date.

Rule 1: Do not go out on the same night that he calls and asks you out.

If you agree to go out, he will assume that you have no life and have been hanging out by the phone waiting for him to call. No matter how badly you want to see him, say no. This isn’t “game playing” – men do not want you to be too eager (desperate). Suggest another time that is better for you.

Rule 2: Do not hang on every word he says.

He can’t be that fascinating and you also have something to say. He actually does want a glimpse into that brain of yours!

Rule 3: Do not be a conversation hog.

Learn to be comfortable with pauses in the conversation; you don’t need to fill the silence with words. Your date is sizing you up and thinking, even if it appears that he is doing nothing. He also doesn’t want your life story in one sitting. Leave some mystery for him to discover over time.

Rule 4: Stay away from “ex” talk.

If you are asked about a past relationship, limit the answer to a few words such as, “We weren’t on the same page.” Resist the urge to trash your previous partner or present yourself as a victim.

Rule 5: Resist asking about his previous relationships.

If you are patient, he’ll probably dish out bits and pieces about why his past relationships ended.

Rule 6: Do not get drunk and dance on his lap.

He wants to know that you are responsible and know when to say “when”.

Rule 7: Let him be the one to suggest you get together again.

Resist the urge to ask, “When will I see you again?” If he wants another date, he will call you.

Rule 8: Do not ask him to come to your home after the date.

And if he makes the suggestion to go to his place or yours, say no!

The first date determines if there will be a second date. If you talk too much about yourself, get drunk and act stupid, get too serious and intense and/or sleep with him on the first date, you will not have a second date.

Remember that you are also entitled to size him up. Do your own assessment and gauge how you feel. Many women are so eager to please a man that they forget about what they want in a dating experience or relationship. If you make it all about him, you’re setting a precedent that it will always be about him.

These are a few tips about what men are looking at during a first date. The first or even that second date is too early for your potential love interest to know if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. This should be the evaluation stage for both of you. Keep it light hearted, discover what you have in common and laugh a lot.

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