Recently, a friend of mine, Helen, screamed at me through the phone, “Oh my G*d! Everything I have ever wanted is coming my way, and would you believe it? I just met the guy of my dreams!” One would have to know Helen to realize how out of the ordinary such a statement was. Ten years back, Helen took every imaginable self-improvement course in life training, journaling, practicing forgiveness, accountability, managing emotions, self-love, meditation, life mapping, vision boards, and most recently, the Law of Attraction and Manifesting. She methodically erased any negative influence that she could perceive in her life and with a warrior’s determination that would make Napoleon blush.
There’s no use in hiding the secret that my dear friend was a severe control freak. She was at the top of her field with a PhD from one of the best universities. She had the mental picture of the exact house she dreamed of, the two kids she would give birth to, and the exact image of her future soulmate (backed with an extensive list of over fifty deal breakers).
One day as we were pleasantly sipping our fifth glass of wine, she broke down and complained about her love life (yet again). “Where is he? Can’t I seem to meet anyone remotely fitting? How will I ever put my life in order? I am already thirty-eight!”
Following the outburst came her not-so-sober account of the three dates she went on the past week. “I knew within two minutes that the guy was all wrong for me. What a waste of time!” “Indeed.” I thought. The guy she was interested in was my best friend, and he was pursuing another girl.
It so happened that I didn’t hear from her for three months. Right then, I received a call with her shrieking on the other end of the line. Apparently, she moved for an appointment at Harvard. She told me a story that could have been right out of a movie set. As she was crossing the street, her phone rang, reminding her of a meeting with a department head. As she fumbled for her calendar, she heard the wheels of a car squeal and simultaneously felt two hands grabbing her and pushing her out of the way of an oncoming car.
The second she looked up, she met Mr. Right. She is now married, in her dream house with her dream job, and expecting her second child.
So what precisely did Helen do differently over those last three months that she hadn’t done in the past ten years?
What is the Spiritual Law of Detachment?
According to Deepak Chopra, The Law of Detachment is the ability to let go of one’s need to control outcomes in situations, attachment to one’s desires, and the need to control other people. The Law of Detachment is one of the principal laws governing the Law of Attraction and Manifesting.
The theory is that as we let go/let God (or the universe) and have faith, the miracles we desire will happen in the most unexpected manner and in a way that’s best for us and everybody concerned. Having faith and relaxing is a central law of the idea that like energy attracts like energy.
For example, suppose we keep focusing really hard on how we want things to happen. In that case, we are essentially sending a message to the universe and reinforcing that whatever we focus on has not happened and that we must try hard to achieve.
Therefore, we are sending a message of lack (wistful wishing). And as we already know, lacking energy will simply produce more lacking energy. By contrast, having faith and gratitude for a future and current life will create more circumstances for us to be positive, relaxed, and grateful. Such energies create a positive future. Our thoughts make our realities.
How to Practice the Laws of Detachment
Visualize a New Reality Where Everyone Benefits
In the larger context, we are free to visualize what we want in detail, including how we will reap the benefits and help others once our dreams become a reality. Such visualization helps us focus on the energies of abundance, thereby creating more abundance.
However, to truly use the energies in our favor, we must keep from visualizing how the favorable events will come about. If we were all-powerful and did not need the universe’s help to guide us, let’s face it, we would already have what we desire.
So instead of micromanaging the universe, why not let it teach us and bring to us what is ultimately our highest and best?
Additionally, when we focus on what we want (consequently, on what we lack), we send out a message of distrust to the universe. Such insistence goes against the cardinal rule of faith.
A Simple Example of the Law of Detachment
After all, think back to when you were a kid. Remember how you felt when your mom offered to clean your room together? Such an offer demonstrated faith, a relaxed tone, and a mutual benefit. Contrast that with how you felt when she asked you to clean your room for the tenth time (in a somewhat aggravated tone).
Likely, at that point, you felt her disappointment and lack of faith in your willingness to clean your room. Did that motivate you to clean? I hardly think so. You are not alone. The whole universe prefers the energy of faith and relaxation.
Simply put, faith is what makes things happen easily. If you believe that you have, you will have. If you think you do not have, you will not have. In either case, you are right. The key is to surrender.
Detachment in Relationships – Laws of Attraction Govern Attraction
The same universal laws govern relationships, not only spirituality. The very basis of attraction is freedom and confidence. Would you be more attracted to a partner who trusts and believes that a relationship will work out? Or a person who has faith and confidence knowing that they are attractive? Such individuals are incredibly magnetic and charming. Contrast that with someone who always tries to make things happen and micromanages the relationship.
Let’s face it, all of us and the entire universe prefer the trusting flow of faith and positivity. The result is abundance.