Many people feel discouraged by feelings of disempowerment. This happens when we give away our power by worrying too much about what another person is feeling, thinking and doing. Rather than focus on ourselves, we channel all of our energy into a situation that we cannot control. Can we truly control another? No! So, why exhaust all of our energy into a futile cause? Focusing on someone else at the expense of our own independence puts us in a powerless position. Our self-identity is compromised when we define ourselves by the feelings or actions of another person.
Disempowered people lose control of their thoughts and emotions.
- Why hasn’t my partner called?
- I wonder if I do ___, if it will cause him/her to do ___.
- How does my boyfriend / girlfriend feel about me?
- How can I make him / her love me?
The above shows how a person hands over his or her personal power to another person. Your energy is best conserved for working on yourself. Rather than moping about something you cannot control, focus on what you can control in your life. Empower yourself! If you are not happy with your current situation, figure out why.
- Do you rely on the thoughts and feelings of others to determine what you should do?
- Do you seek constant validation from others so that you can feel good about yourself?
- Are your dreams defined by what another person thinks you should do?
- Where are you in this equation?
- Do you even exist?
- Or are you just a robot that lives by the program of another’s thoughts and feelings?
Self-esteem and self-acceptance issues are the primary reasons we find ourselves in this place of “need”. We are not confident in our judgment. We lack the faith that no matter what happens, we will be provided for in every way. It’s human to have vulnerable feelings every now and then, but it’s debilitating to your spirit to constantly dwell on someone else. Let it go, realize you are the only person worth your energy and focus.
- Who are you?
- What are your dreams?
- What makes you happy?
- What is true to you?
People, situations and experiences will come and go from your life. You remove all of that and you still exist. The next time you are handed a seed of doubt, look that person or situation in the eye and say, “I respect you but this feels true to me.” That will spell the moment when you reclaim your personal empowerment.