Keen Category: Love Advice
I caught the airing of a soulmate love story on the news about a couple in their 90's celebrating their love. Although they met and were first engaged in their early 20's, life took a wrong turn, they parted and reunited again after 55 years. No ordinary story because neither was far from each other's mind during all those years, despite the fact they each married and had families of their own. They continued to think about each other daily. So strong was their love obsession that the woman contacted her soulmate after she heard his wife had died. And when her husband died only months later, her soulmate waited a long 15 minutes to make contact with her. Now, they ballroom dance every Saturday night.
A soulmate obsession doesn't always have a happy ending. More often than not, the end of the relationship means the chapter has closed and it's time to let go and write a new chapter with someone else without expectation of a soulmate reunion. But letting go of the memories of romance, the scent of them, the soul connection you felt, how he or she made you feel, and dreams of the two of you being together forever may not be easy when your heart aches and your soul cries out for more of them. You may find your nights and days filed with thoughts of them, feelings of emptiness and a longing to recapture something of what you lost. When these feelings linger for longer than 7 months after the breakup, causing anxiety, distress and even depression, it's time to recognize your obsession.
When thoughts of "how it used to be" persist, becoming an hourly occurrence, it may be difficult to focus on anything else. Analogous to going on a diet and thinking about food 24 hours a day, the incessant mental preoccupation with someone else only increases the hunger pangs for their love. In this case, the mind is a demon that needs to be conquered or made peace with if obsession is to give way to acceptance. The common recommendation of controlling your thoughts by shifting your attention (replacing one thought with another pleasant thought) is likely only to result in battle between two thoughts giving rise to a two-headed demon. Getting your soulmate off your mind and visualizing them instead in your heart, surrounded by love and light, will lift you both by the power of love. The intelligence of the heart will bring you peace, healing, and acceptance. In due time, the mental images will fade.
Sadness and regrets can overwhelm the heart. You may not be able to shake feelings of regret for the things you didn't say or do that in your mind could have saved the relationship. Repetitive self-talk prefaced with "if only" amounts to beating yourself up, a self-punishment that causes a great deal of grief and undue pain. Your heart will be burdened until you forgive yourself and move on. Clearing your heart of the emotional overload with prayers of forgiveness will free you to love yourself again.
A subconscious obsession, surfacing in dreams of the two of you, can be as disturbing as constant daydreams. Dreams of reunions reconciling the problems in the relationship are common even years after a breakup. Dreamers report seeing themselves in the arms of their lover again, on play dates, at the altar getting married or awakened by their soulmate calling out to them. When these dreams persist, becoming an almost a nightly occurrence, it can signal that the psychic ties and unresolved feelings are pulling you together in the ether. Dreams of happy endings where there is no evidence in real life of that possibility ever happening can create anxiety and distress. Some consider these dreams as a very real promise, a prophecy that in the future their soulmate will be back in their lives. But the fact is that only about one in thousand of these dreams ever prove to be prophetic.
For some, every love song was written for them. Often a reminder of the good times and the love you shared, a song can be a strong emotional trigger causing you to well up with tears and to revisit a storehouse of memories of the times you shared with your soulmate. It may seem as though the radio waves are conspiring against you, making it impossible for you to let go. The conspirator, however, may be your own subconscious creative intelligence creating a playlist aimed at forcing you to see how deeply attached you are, mentioning the strength of the love bond, and the unresolved feelings you have yet to touch. Shedding a few tears may be the very release you need at that moment to cleanse your heart of hidden pain. "Our love song" synchronicity can also suggest your soulmate is thinking of you on those occasions. Rather than avoiding listening to radio as a method of banishing them from your creative field, bless them with the light of your heart knowing the connection doesn't have to cause you pain.
Redecorating an apartment with them in mind, lighting candles around their photo, holding prayer vigils, chanting incantations and casting spells to call them back in your life are all signs that you won't give up on the dream of the two of you. However, believing that you have cosmic control over someone else's desires may result in a rude awakening: a karmic payback teaching you that magic spells can do harm. Other behaviors such as sifting through boxes of meaningful mementos on more than one occasion in a week, scrapbooking pictures of the two of you, ringing them up on the phone just to hear their voice and social networking with most of his or her friends to remain in the loop, if excessive, can tie up hours of your time in behaviors that would appear compulsive to anyone looking in. Behaviors like these do you more harm than good, keeping you emotionally bound to the past and unable to live life fully in the present. Gathering your own friends to bear witness to a cleansing ritual aimed at releasing your soulmate to the path of his or her destiny will award you with support for a needed emotional transition. By surrounding your soulmate in light, blessing them with love, and forgiving them and yourself in ceremony, you will send a powerful note of love into the cosmos and to their heart. With your friends at your side affirming your decision, you are more apt to humbly let go. As an interesting side note, it is not unheard of for a ritual of release to open the channels for a reunion in the future.
It is undeniable that it is difficult to stop thinking about your soulmate when distance has come between you. But there is a reason for your madness. Two souls who are truly divine complements are bound by a soul contract spelling out promises they made for the incarnation. When these promises have been left unfulfilled, the urgings of the soul will be to hold on for dear life and keep trying. But the urgings of the soul may need to be overridden by the consciousness of your higher self that knows the true soulmate connection is never broken. It is indelibly etched in each of your hearts.